


Taking Back the Crown

by sunlightonwater (TFA_finn_poe_shipper)



Series: Are We Free or is this Destiny [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arguing, Blood and Injury, Bullying, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Death, Control Issues, Creepy, Dissociation, Enemies to Friends, Finn-centric, Flashbacks, Force Bond (Star Wars), Friendship, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage, Jealousy, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Mass Death, Minor Character Death, Non-Consensual Touching, Obsessive Behavior, Other, Panic Attacks, Possessive Kylo Ren, Power Imbalance, Pre-TFA, Stalking, Temper Tantrums, Unhealthy Relationships, dark!fic, mass hysteria, mass panic, stampede
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:45:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6454069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFA_finn_poe_shipper/pseuds/sunlightonwater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>FN-2187 shook his shoulders to calm his nerves, and told himself this level of attention should be expected considering his consistent high marks. 'Yes... the knight is just curious about my skills, as I represent the future of First Order'. Repeating the words his Lieutenant made when he first met the Knight. 'Why else would he be interested in me'?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Spark

**Author's Note:**

> When I first watched The Force Awakens the relationship I wanted to know more about was the one between Finn (FN-2187) and Kylo Ren. 
> 
> This fic will explore the start of their relationship before TFA with some major canon divergence, and then focus on how their relationship changes as they grow up. Although the story is told from Finn’s POV it may switch to Kylo’s POV at times. I also want to note that even though their relationship starts off quite ambiguous this is not a slash fic.
> 
> **Trigger warnings: As for the Non-con and underage tags this is NOT the focus of the story, but it is briefly mentioned or the threat of it is implied a few times in this and other chapters. It is something that is rumored to have happened to other cadets and it is only implied and never explained in detail. FN-2187 does experience fear that it could happen to him, and you as the reader may be concerned that this may happen to him later on even though it does not need to be read that way, but he is not under any threat of any sexual non con events happening to him except for this first chapter. But don't worry because nothing like that will happen to him, and if I ever change my mind on that I will warn you ahead of time. Also there is a lot of obsessive, controlling, and possessive behavior in pretty much every chapter that reflects Kylo's mood and 87's lack of power compared to others, so I will not be giving a trigger warning at the beginning of each chapter for that as that is what this fic is all about. If later chapters have anything triggering that is not mentioned here I will be sure give you all a warning at the beginning of that chapter.
> 
> This is my first ever fan fic and it has not been Beta’d so I apologize for any errors. 
> 
> Enjoy!

FN-2187 walked with a steady pace behind a tall stormtooper through the halls of the Crusher, a new resurgent class star destroyer that was modeled from the starships of the long gone Empire.

He had nearly finished his basic blaster training with the other three members of his FN Corps squad when he was ordered by Lieutenant Phasma follow her.

FN-2187 thought it was strange that his captain would have him stop in the middle of his training exercises, but he knew it was better not to ask questions and just follow orders.

His relationship with the Lieutenant was a strange one because on the one hand she absolutely terrified him with her cruelty towards others. On the other hand, he felt safe around her because he got the idea that she favored him for some reason.

Every now and again during his training as a Stormtrooper cadet he would sense her eyes on him, and she would be sure he received medical attention for any injuries he sustained during his trainings.

The rest of the ‘troopers typically were not so lucky and had to nurse their own wounds…that is if they did not die as a result of them.

As the two walked through the maze of corridors, FN-2187 stared at the back of his impossibly tall Lieutenant thinking back on the day wondering if he made some sort of error and he was being sent to reconditioning.

_I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary_ , he thought. After some time, he realized that they had reached the Crusher’s landing dock, and there were several people that were waiting near an empty port.

There he saw the ship’s commander, Major Noran who was flanked by two officers on either side of him.

Noran was not the general of the entire First Order but he was one of the few who were in charge of bringing the First Order to the ‘former glory’ of the now extinct Empire.

Standing across from the Major were three Stormtroopers who quietly stood straight at attention. Lieutenant Phasma stood next to the other Stormtroopers and FN-2187 quietly took his place next to her.

Initially, he had no idea why everyone stood there in total silence but he was smart enough to quickly figure out that they were waiting to greet the person whose ship would be docking very soon. He figured this person had to be extremely important if it warranted the attention of both his Lieutenant and the Major.

FN-2187 started to fidget and this drew the attention of Phasma who, somehow through her helmet, gave him a look that meant he needed to keep still. So he did.

“It is an honor that you were chosen to stand here today FN-2187” Phasma stated. “Even at 10 years old you are one of my most promising Stormtrooper cadets. You are here because I want the new right hand of our Supreme Leader to see the strength of our ‘troopers. It is, after all, the cadets that are the future of the First Order”.

With that, FN-2187, or 87 as he was sometimes called, held very still and his back could not have been any straighter if he tried. Anticipation and nerves started to swell in his belly and he felt a bit of sweat slip down his back as a small transport ship entered the Crusher and started to land.

He noticed that the Major made no movements as well except for a few licks of his lips. It was unclear whether he did this out of anticipation or because his mouth was dry out of fear.

The officers besides the Major seemed nervous as well-. This did not help 87 with his nerves and he found he could not stop that hint of excitement that slowly grew while everyone waited.

The hissing of the cargo ship as the door opened, along with the temperature seeming to suddenly drop 20 degrees all at once was enough to make him wish, just for a moment, that he was not the Lieutenant’s best cadet.

He always posted the top scores in all the combat simulation trainings and he also scored high in his intuition and strategic tests as well. His Lieutenant once told him he is on the path to becoming an officer one day. This rare compliment normally filled him with so much pride but today, right now, he wishes he was just a bit more average.

_No_ , he thought. He was the leader of the FN squadron and there was no way he would allow another cadet to take his place; waiting for whatever monster that could so easily control the temperature of a starship.

He had grown so lost in his own thoughts that he did not notice when said ‘monster’ stepped out of the smaller transport ship and strode right past the general.

The monster was in fact just a man; well almost anyways. He was tall and definitely older than the 10-year-old 87, but his cheeks still had the slight pudginess that showed he was not quite a grown man yet, he was still a child.

The older boy had white skin, hair that was blacker than the space between the stars, and his eyes were somehow even darker than that. It was those blacker than black eyes that looked in the direction of each person, but also seemed to see right through each of them.

When his eyes turned on 87, the younger boy noticed what looked like of a spark of light within those eyes and then the cold-creating monster came to stand directly in front of him.

After the older boy silently stared at 87 for a literal minute, 87 was incredibly tempted to look toward his Lieutenant for guidance, but he knew from his training that it would be best to not move all at. After he began to feel goosebumps along his spine due to that never ending stare he knew he had to say something-.

“I have heard about the faceless soldiers that once fought for the Empire, and now serve the First Order”.

At hearing his voice for the first time, 87 was surprised that it did not sound overly menacing, but he did seem very confident and almost demanding. It was the type of voice that expected things to be done exactly as they wanted it.

87’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard the other boy say “Apparently this trooper has better things to do than respond to a commanding officer. Did you not hear what I just said?”

87 shifted just a bit as he felt the pressure to not disappoint his Lieutenant weigh down on him. He in fact did not hear what was said to him because he was so distracted, and he was uncharacteristically unsure of how to respond. The older boy gave him a look that surprisingly did not look annoyed, only amused.

“What did you-I am sorry, sir”.

“I asked you for your designation number. Since you ‘troopers are not given any other name by which to identify you”.

“My apologizes sir. My designation number is FN-2187”.

“Hmm…”

Whatever thoughts were going on through the older boy’s head was completely lost to 87. He found himself again wanting to be elsewhere. Wanting someone else to take away this boy’s focus on him.

“Pardon me. Kylo, Knight of Ren, it is an honor to have the right hand of our Supreme Leader honor me with his presence on my ship”. The boy-Kylo then turned around to look at the Major. “I have been commanded to see that all your orders are followed…”, he paused and looked back in the direction of 87 with a strange glint his eye, “…and your needs are met”.

87 felt a shiver go down his spine because he was no fool.

Everyone was aware that certain cadets found themselves taken into the not so gentle hands of the superior officers in the middle of the night. They often return visibly shaken but never share what happened to them not matter how many times you ask.

Typically, these cadets were years older than the Knight of Ren in front of him, around their twenties, but apparently the Major was not above the idea if it would put him in the good graces of the knight.

"With all due respect Kylo, Knight of Ren you of course have access to whatever you need, however this cadet is one of our best and it will not please our Supreme Leader to have one with such promise left damaged on a mere whim” his Lieutenant stated out of the blue.

87 was surprised that her first words to their guest were in his own defense. He was deeply grateful.

The older boy turned around again towards 87 and gave a slight smirk and titled his head to the side as if considering something, and then he sharply turned back to the Major and demanded to be given a tour of the ship and then taken to his quarters.

The Major quickly nodded and started to lead Kylo away when the knight turned once again towards 87 and said with a smirk “Until next time”.

87 did not respond as he watched the Major walk in front and to the right of Kylo as they exited the hanger.

Almost immediately the temperature in the room returned to normal and 87 released an intense sigh.

He looked up in the direction of his Lieutenant who gave a slight nod showing her approval. Then 87 was dismissed and he promptly returned to his training exercises.

The other three members of the FN squad tried to ask him where he went, but he just ignored them and decided that it was best to focus on his training.

He had a hard time getting that look that Kylo gave him out of his mind though. Although Kylo worried him, he also felt something else about the older boy that he could not put his finger on.

It was sort of similar to how he felt about Phasma, but not exactly.

Under his breath 87 whispered, “Until next time”.


	2. Haunted by a pair of brown eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter the two had a very interesting first meeting. This time Kylo’s interest in 87 (Finn) becomes more apparent and 87 can't stop thinking about Kylo's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!! I know it has been a long time since I updated but life has been hectic. This weekend I felt inspired so I got back to writing. I have a draft of the next two chapters completed already so hopefully I will post another chapter this weekend and then post chapter 4 next week. 
> 
> **Trigger warning: same thing as with chapter 1 so please mind the underage and non-con tags. There is a brief reference, but again nothing graphic.
> 
> Thank you all for your support and patience. I hope you enjoy chapter 2!

“Until next time…”

It’s been days since the Knights arrival, and 87 could not get those parting words out of his head.

As he took notice of his reflection in the refresher’s mirror, he thought about how his eyes remind him of the Knight’s. It took him three days to figure out why there was something he recognized in himself that was also present in the Knight, and he realized it was their eyes. The actual color of their eyes wasn’t so important. No. It is not as simple as that.

But after this third day he realized that behind all the confidence and commanding presence of the Knight, was…fear? If so, 87 could relate to that. 87 felt confident in his abilities due to the effectiveness of his training, and he had a commanding presence as well.

“Either lead your soldiers to victory, or you follow a weak man to your grave”. Wise words his Lieutenant shared when he doubted his ability to lead others. This meant that at his best he had the ability to complete a mission and preserve the lives of his comrades. If he did not live up to his potential, and people died as a result of that, then that was his responsibility as well. No matter what he did, 87 would be responsible for the lives of his comrades so he worked extremely hard to be the best.

However, with so much pressure on him he is afraid to fail. He wonders if Kylo feels the same. He turned on the sink, and allowed his still growing hands to collect some of the water in his palms. He closed his eyes, splashed the water on his face, and released a deep sigh. It was time to start the day.

The two days afterward blurred together as every day was exactly the same: morning drills, simulation testing, nourishment, military strategy, more drills, more nourishment, rest, and the next day begins. It was a constant cycle that created comfort through constancy, but if 87 was honest with himself it was also quite boring.

He just finished the first part of drills when he noticed some of the cadets were growing restless. Curious about what triggered this response in the usually stoic cadets he looked around the training room for the cause. He eventually looked towards the wall of transparisteel about twelve feet up from the floor he was standing on. There he saw two figures, the Major and the Knight.

They were facing the cadets and looked like they were speaking to each other. For a brief moment, he got the feeling the knight was staring right at him, No way, he brushed the thought from his mind.  _He is observing all of us not just me,_ he figured. As he returned to his drills he ended up in a different area of the training room, and for some reason 87 made a quick glance towards the transparisteel, and again found the knights gaze on him. This made 87 a bit nervous and he nibbled at his bottom lip unsure of how to act.

He was very grateful in that moment that he wore a helmet. Usually he couldn’t be happier to get the heavy bit of head gear off because it made his face sweat, but right now he felt shielded a bit. Hidden from that intense stare that seemed to be trying to see right through his mask.

_Maybe he could do that. But I hope not_. The more rational part of him tried to take over and he decided that it might be helpful to do a little test. So he went back to his original position in the room while trying to discreetly keep his eyes on the Knight the entire time. The more he walked the more his stomach knotted and filled with dread, although the Knight continued to talk to the Major his eyes stayed locked onto him from one end of the room to the other.

He shook his shoulders to calm his nerves and told himself that this level of attention should be expected considering his consistent high marks. _Yes. The knight is just curious about my skills as I represent the future of First Order_. Repeating the words his Lieutenant made when he first met the Knight. _Why else would he be interested in me_?

The Major's words to the Knight came back to him and it made the air a bit to thick to breathe properly "...and your needs are met". The boy became lost in his thoughts as he continued to chew on his lip. By the time he looked up again only the Major was standing there. The boy returned to his drills.

Two weeks passed without seeing the Knight again and 87 believed the Knight would not be watching him anymore, so he acted like everything was normal.

Occasionally he would hear rumors about the knight. Rumors that the knight had a terrible temper, that a sudden chill would enter a room just before he did, and that he ate cadets that weren’t up to snuff. He did not know what to believe, but he felt more than fortunate that he has not seen the knight for a while.

Although sometimes, if he were honest with himself, he did experience an unexpected chill run down his spine, or the room he was in felt colder for no reason. Other times, he swore someone was watching him the rare timed he walked alone in the hallways of the ship. 87 wanted so badly to tell someone, anyone. Maybe his Lieutenant, the Major, or his bunkmates even. But what exactly could he say? “Lieutenant Phasma I think I’m being haunted by something".

"What does it look like FN-2187…"?

"Oh, well, I’ve never actually seen it”. That will get him reconditioned for sure, or worse. For now, 87 figured it was best to just to ignore all these strange things his gut was warning him about.

Nearly three weeks after his first meeting with the Knight he had a strange dream. The dream included him as a young child, barely a toddler maybe, and another young child maybe around 7 or 8 years old.

He, well 87 assumed it was himself, looked like he would be viewed as an adorable boy with the chubby cheeks, dark skin, large brown eyes, and tightly coiled black hair. However, he was screaming and crying with no end in sight. The tiny version of him was held tightly by the older boy, who had to lean down a bit to hold him. This boy, was trying to appear calm but his eyes were wide, and his jaw was tight.

It was incredibly windy and hot, random flashes of red and blue shot out in front of them. As the younger boy looked up at the older one he noticed the wind blew long and curly black hair all over the other boys face. All that wind revealed freckles, white skin, and a pair of prominent ears. The boy looked down at him, worry painted on his face, but for some reason the younger one felt completely safe. He returned the stare of that older boy, and by gazing into those beautiful brown eyes, he felt like nothing could hurt him.

As the strength of the wind and other forces increased, and the sounds of distant screams continued he buried his face in the older boy’s robes. The smell of smoke replaced the fresh air and he wanted to cover his nose. “Don't let go! We have to stay together”.

He looked up in response and saw nothing but twin brown orbs pulling him in, until everything went blissfully dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more than meets the eye with these two, and it will slowly become more apparent with each new chapter. 
> 
> I really appreciate everyone who gave a kudos, subscribed, or made a comment so far. You guys are the best! Since this is my first fic any encouraging comments would be greatly appreciated :)


	3. Challenger of the Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see how 87 interacts with the rest of his squad, and learn about the meaning behind nicknames. Also includes an interesting and kinda awkward reunion with a mysterious figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning: There is some bullying that takes place in the beginning of this chapter.

Grey mush. That was what FN-2187 and the other cadets had to look forward to eating today. Same as yesterday. Same as the day before that. 87 was aware that the meal was supposed to be full of all the nutrients needed to heal his muscles, increase his physical performance, and be easy to digest… _but couldn’t they do something to make it less mushy? Ugh, it’s so gross!_

He was sitting beside Slip and across from Nines and Zeros as they usually did for meals. They were surrounded by other members of the FN squadron at their table, but these three were his roommates. Unlike most of them however, 87 did not have a nickname.

FN-2199, or Nines as he is known, by has skin white like writing paper, which contrasts with his bright red hair and dark blue eyes. He was a bit taller than FN-2187 and he had started puberty earlier than the rest of his roommates. Nines had a mean streak to him, and he was often jealous of 87 being in command of their squad.

FN-2000 went by the name Zeros because he had a lot of zeros in his designation. He was a dark skinned boy, and he was similar to 87 in that they both had skin like the color of the rich soil found on planets like Endor. Zeros tended to be pretty serious about most things, except for when Nines decided to pick on Slip. Zero’s always liked to pick on Slip.

Speaking of Slip, his designation was FN-2003. Slip somehow managed to stay slim no matter how much strength training he completed. His complexion was similar to Nines, and his youthful eyes were a warm hazel color.

87 was always surprised by Slip’s resiliency. He always fell behind during trainings, and he was not especially intelligent so he didn’t have many skills to offer the Order. It was assumed by many that he wouldn’t have made it this far in the trainings, had it not been for 87 looking after him.

Slip was always grateful to have 87 close to him. He would never admit it but it made him feel safe.

Most cadets’ nicknames were given to them by a squad mate they felt close to, or in the case of Slip they got a nickname to ~~ridicule~~ compliment a part of them.

For Stormtroopers, nicknames were extremely important as they were viewed as a gift between comrades. As a Stormtrooper everything they owned was provided by the First Order, even their ~~names~~ designations.

That’s why nicknames were so important. Nicknames were just about the only thing Stormtroopers could give each other without resorting to theft. It meant someone cared about you.

87 tried not to dwell on what it meant that no one gifted him with a nickname.

For the rare few that were like 87, loners, no one felt the need to gift them a nickname for some reason or other. So he came up with one of his own. He had to admit that “87” was not very creative, but he couldn’t think of anything else on the fly.

Sometimes 87 wondered why Slip didn’t gift him with a nickname.

Little did he know that Slip had a nickname that he referred to him in his own head, but he was too embarrassed to speak it out loud.

“You know what Slip? You’re lucky you have him looking after you” Nines said nodding towards 87.

Slip started to collapse into himself a bit and actually scooted a bit closer to 87 which caused Nines and Zeros to glance at each other and snicker.

“Hey! I could have finished my part of the mission, but my helmet fogged up and I couldn’t see.”

Zeros didn’t laugh out loud so he wouldn’t draw attention from the older troopers, but he did lean forward and whisper to the other three, “I think you’re short, and can’t see through the visor. That’s what the problem is. Maybe put some rocks in your shoes so you are taller.”

“Will you two cut it out. Seriously it’s almost the same thing every day with you two.”

Nines rolled his eyes at 87, “I’m sorry, I forgot you hate it when we talk bad about your boyfriend”. Nines and Zeros continued to laugh quietly to themselves.

“87 isn’t my boyfriend” Slip mumbled, shyly looking up at him through his long eyelashes, almost as if he wishes that it was actually true.

“Like I said, it’s always the same thing. Man I wish we had our own room” he replied looking back at Slip with a calm expression, “then you wouldn’t have to deal with this mess”.

“It’s okay 87. I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about me”.

It wasn’t like 87 was clueless. He knew that Slip had some sort of crush on him or something. He thought it was because he always looked out for him, so Slip saw him as some sort of knight out to protect his princess… _or prince in this case._

But while he felt the role of knight could fit his personality, and he could envision Slip being some dainty prince needing his honor defended, he just couldn’t see himself being the knight of this particular prince.

_Hmmm. I would love my prince to be someone who looks intense and is strong in a lot of ways, but in other ways is really gentle and kind. I wouldn’t be like a hovering nanny droid like I am with Slip, but feeling needed by someone who can take care of themselves might be nice._

“You don’t have to worry about me!” Zeros and Nines repeated Slip’s words in a high falsetto while blinking their eyes rapidly.

87 slammed his hands on the table and yelled out “Stop it!”. The room of about 100 cadets went nearly dead silent and all eyes were on him.

Finn bit the inside of his cheek at his error in judgement. Fearful of being reconditioned, he quickly sat down and tried to return to his meal. His roommates were completely silent, even the usually chatty Nines.

Nines and Zeros were looking around nervously as they realized they might also be punished for taking things too far.

87 looked in the direction of the two Stormtroopers that stood by the entrance. The troopers were older men who were either too old for combat or had minor injuries, but they were useful enough to observe the cadets just in case the occasional fight broke out.

Nothing happened, so he started to relax as the conversations from the other cadets resumed. He nearly released a sigh of relief when he recognized the loud and precise pattern of footsteps coming up behind him. Holding his breath, as he waited for his Lieutenant to speak.

“FN-2187.”

He quickly got out of his seat and turned towards his commanding officer with his chin held high and his back as straight as ever. “Yes, Lieutenant!”

“Your presence has been requested. You are to report to your quarters to obtain your helmet. Then report to room 5 in section A-9.”

“A-9…isn’t that the officers quar-?“

“You are to report to room 5 at once. Have I made myself clear, FN-2187?”.

“Yes Lieutenant!” He turned to grab his food tray and snuck quick glance at Slip because they all knew what section A-9 was. 87 threw away his food and as quickly as he could, and without breaking a proper form his rushed to his room.

After running some water on his face he looked at the mirror in the refresher and brushed his teeth. Once he felt he looked presentable, he put on his helmet and headed towards section A-9.

Section A-9 was the officers’ quarters, and it was mostly reserved for the higher ranking officers.

Typically, meetings did not take place in the bedrooms of an officer, there were several rooms of various sizes designed for that, however sometimes the officer didn’t want to leave their room for whatever reason.

As he approached this area of the ship, he slowed his pace in awe of the amazing view to the right of him.

There was a long viewport, made of transparisteel, that was basically a gigantic window with an incredible view of the stars. 87 couldn’t believe his luck as most of the areas he was commonly in did not have good views of outside the ship.

 Sometimes, that made him wonder if they were even in space at all? All he knew was he was in some vessel with black walls and consoles that emitted a red or blue light.

He started to shiver a bit, but figured it was due to the unbelievable view he was enjoying. 87 stopped in front of the window and placed the gloved fingertips of his right hand on what he realized was the only thing stopping him from falling into space.

 He saw celestial bodies he had only read about during his lessons. Far to the left looked like a faint ring of blue dwarfs…and he was pretty sure that colorful hourglass was a quasar. He felt happy to bear witness to the jewels of the universe.

_The officers who have this wonderful view every day are so lucky._

“Incredible isn’t it?” Replied a deep familiar voice.

87 yelped as he nearly jumped out of his skin, and through the transparisteel in front of him.

“I’m so sorry sir! I was on my way to…” He looked at the person standing near him and realized why he felt colder a bit ago, “I had to come all the way down here because ‘someone’ didn’t want to reserve a meeting room”. 87 realized he still didn’t know who he was supposed to be meeting with.

He also realized he was being a bit disrespectful in the way he said “someone”.

87’s response was met by a raised eyebrow on the face of one who probably lived in this section.

“Not that they should have to schedule a meeting room. It’s just that they are supposed to- not that anyone really cares and all what they- it’s just the proper protocol…I think”. 87 could not for the life of him understand why every time he meets this person he is thrown off balance.

“I’m pleased that you are here.”

_Okay…_

Remembering that he was sent here on orders 87 put his heels together and looked directly at the figure in front of him. “Sir if you would excuse me I am headed to room 5” he said confidently. Not feeling that way at all.

“What a coincidence. So was I”, the smooth voice said. 87 looked down from his eyes and noticed that was a slight lift of the other’s lips. “You can follow me the rest of the way”.

87 walked closely behind black robes that barely swept against the ground, trying to focus on the person in front of him, but he couldn’t help but glance to his right to the various stars that were in view.

“What catches your interest?”

“Excuse me, sir?”

“I am curious about what catches your interest. You keep looking to your right, so it appears something has captured your attention?”

“Oh. I really like the quasar out there. The red and purple one? It’s hard to see, but it’s a lot more interesting than I would have imagined”.

“I forget that you troopers are not stationed in areas with practical view ports,” the robed figure stopped gliding against the floor and after turning to look at 87 added, “Room 5 of this section also has a view port. Not as long as this, but still quite impressive. I hope you will be pleased by it.”

 _Why would he care if I will be pleased by the view? That's the second time he's talked about one of us being pleased. "_ So you’ve been in the room before?”

Another smile, larger this time almost as if a laugh was being held, “You could say that”.

87 followed behind for a couple more steps before the robes stopped in front of a large door and a code was entered in the panel.

 _He must come here regularly if he was given the code to the officer’s room._ 87 thought, feeling somewhat confused by what was going on.

The door slid open and with a nod from his escort, 87 walked into a very simple room. As soon as he entered he felt a bit weird in his stomach, and fairly cold as well. He shivered as he looked around the room he noticed a small and cluttered table against the wall with two simple chairs. To his far left was a small kitchen area with some dishes in the sink, and in the middle was a very large bed with sheets that weren’t tucked in.

_My Lieutenant would recondition us ten times if our room was like this!_

“Fortunately for me, I don’t answer to her,” said the person behind him.

He silently followed 87 into the room, and as the door closed behind him the room became shrouded in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What has our 87 gotten himself into??? 
> 
> Next chapter will pick right where this one left off, and then we will have some time jumps coming up soon.  
> As always comments are always appreciated. Comments are sweet like cotton candy :)


	4. A Breath of Fresh Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up right where chapter 3 left off. We learn more about both Finn and Kylo's tragic pasts, and Kylo decides to get uncomfortable close to his new best friend.

Reacting quickly to the suddenly dark room, 87 moved to a defensive stance by tightening his muscles while he lifted his arms to protect his chest.

He tried to find his way to the door but only ended up bumping into something. Forgetting his training he started to panic.

87 struggled as he felt a tight grip on the side of his shoulder and another around his waist, pinning his arms to his body.

“Relax”, a firm voice ordered, “I didn’t call you here to hurt you”.

87 remembered that Kylo Ren was in the room with him, and while he was not able to relax he did stop struggling against the other’s tight hold.

Feeling confused and in shock by the situation 87 asked, “What are you…with all due respect Sir, can you please let me go?”

“I can…” he trailed off, not loosening his grip at all.

Feeling very uncomfortable, he started to struggle again against the body behind him. Kylo responded by quickly tightening his grip and commanded, “I said relax! Now!”

87 went as limp as a bantha after being shot by a blaster, not very much.

He was shaken somewhat violently by Kylo, making his head spin a bit. 87 was terrified, he did not know what to do or even how he got himself into this situation.

“FN-2187, I thought your obedience was…. superb. Do not disappoint me”, Kylo whispered towards the side of his helmet.

87 shuddered as the sensation of a heavy chin resting on his shoulder could be felt through his armor.

 _I need to think. I need to figure out a way out of this._ He wasn’t sure if anything would work, but it was worth a shot.

He remembered his Lieutenant once told him that misdirection was an excellent way to get out of unfortunate circumstances. He figured that this situation definitely counted as unfortunate. “I thought you said there was a viewport in these quarters. Why is it so dark in here?”

“Because…yes. There is one,” the arm around 87’s waist released its hold and 87 counted his blessings when a long sliver a light appeared in front them. After about 30 seconds the screen in the room was fully lifted, allowing light from the stars outside the ship to finally enter the room. 87 sighed in relief.

Now 87 would never admit this to anyone, but he was quite afraid of the dark.

Some of his earliest memories involved being woken in the middle of the night by a large hand covering his mouth, before being dragged out of bed. Then he and the other cadets where usually blindfolded and dragged into a room and locked in there with no lights, no space, and no refreshers.

The only noticeable things about the room were panels in the ceilings that would randomly drop pieces of food or bottles of water to the disgusting pile below.

There were no words that could be used to describe what it was like in that place. Hundreds of cadets crammed into a room that could barely hold 50 uncomfortably.

Sometime when he lays in bed at night, he could still hear the moans of the cadets too weak to make it towards the top of the pile, the sounds of bones breaking. They were often left there for days or maybe weeks. He never did learn what the criteria was for releasing them from that room at any point.

Those blessed to make it to the top were forced to stand upon layers and layers of their comrades, who were slowly crushed to death beneath them. So many horrors took place during those cursed nights. The purpose of which was to weed out weaker cadets and to make their minds more malleable to the conditioning that soon followed.

87 felt a bit of a headache form close to his temple, and then he was suddenly released completely by Kylo.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable”. Kylo walked around to stand in front of 87 looking a bit sheepish.

_He just went from controlling psychopath to an apologetic toddler in minutes. I’m not going to get out of here alive if I don’t do something to keep him calm._

“It’s okay”, he replied putting out a forced smile that he knew couldn’t be seen through his helmet, but he hoped could be felt, “It happens to the best of us”.

The placating seemed to do the trick as Kylo visibly cheered up and returned to looking more confident.

“Oh, 87. I am so pleased you’re here. I’ve been really lon- I’ve been wanting to get your opinion of the various stars from my viewport here”.

Not missing a beat, 87 started to step backwards getting closer to the viewport, wanting to put some distance between himself and Lord Kylo Ren.

Seeming to sense his thoughts, and not giving a care for them, Kylo took a few long steps to quickly close the distance between them.

Kylo paused for a moment before he bit his lip and reached up towards 87’s helmet to unclasp it. 87 nervously placed his gloved hands over Kylo’s to stop him.

His eyes narrowed to slits and a frown crossed his face. Not one to be denied what he wanted, he continued to pull 87’s helmet from his head. It fell to the ground with a loud thud.

“Sir I- “, 87 lost his train of thought as Kylo grabbed his still chubby cheeks, and leaned over so they were nearly eye level.

87 had a hard time maintaining eye contact, so he looked down instead and noticed the rapid rise and fall of the older boy’s chest. Swallowing the saliva that had pooled in his mouth, 87 pulled his gaze back up to the pair of brown eyes that were still staring at him intently. Through those eyes the feelings of longing and fear flashed in his own mind.

In that moment 87 put the pieces together.

_This must be Lord Kylo Ren’s quarters. He called me here to… he asked for me specifically to…. not be alone? He’s powerful and terrifying, and because of that he is lonely. He wants me to keep him company for some reason..._

_I don’t think it’s like the other officers who call in the older cadets in the night. They have a different kind of loneliness I think. Maybe he just needs a friend._ His thought ended hopefully.

He examined the body language of the boy who looked frozen still. He looked hopeful but very hesitant.

_I think he wants a friend, but has been rejected before. Stars I hope he only wants a friend._

Taking a huge leap of faith, 87 leaned his bare forehead against the other, and wrapped his armored arms around Kylo Ren.

Kylo released a shaky breath as he glided his hands from 87’s cheeks to his shoulders. There they stood for what could have been either a few seconds or a couple of hours.

It wasn’t until 87 could feel the chest that lightly leaned against his own rise and fall more gently did he briefly squeeze Kylo, and took a large step back.

“So ah…why don’t you show me the view you were bragging about earlier”, 87 turned his body to face the wide viewport.

Kylo Ren smiled and took his place next to 87. They stood there quietly, shoulder to shoulder gazing out the viewport.

87 wasn’t sure when it happened, but at some point he actually relaxed and started to point towards various star systems he recognized.

Kylo was pleased by 87’s ability to finally be calm around him. It was a comfort to actually have someone not be on edge around him all the time.

Being fearsome definitely had its perks, but his plans to conquer the galaxy seemed a little hollow if he had no one to share the galaxy with.

When he looked at 87 Kylo saw himself. He saw a young soul trying to figure out their way through this unforgiving galaxy. He saw a person with incredible strength and a perfect confidence, that was just an illusion to conceal their anxious mind.

He knew that 87 would be terrified of him at first, he was meant to inspire terror in others and he did not disappoint.

But he had hoped to find a companion who would be able to see through the invisible mask he wore.

 

At his uncle’s school, and even before then, he was so incredibly lonely, he worked so hard to please everyone, to blend in, but it never worked. So he just felt suffocated.

Joining his Master’s endeavors helped with that some, but it wasn’t until he met 87 that he felt himself able to breathe deeply for the first time in his whole life.

He needed 87.

Wanted him close by, so he could keep his mind clear and his emotions in check.

He had to fulfill his near obsessive desire to protect him, to watch over him, to hold him tight.

Kylo would see that he got what he wanted. _I will let nothing stand in my way_.

As the night continued on he felt pleased by their progress. A devious smile spread across his face, as he drew his gaze to yet another quasar 87 talked excitedly about.

_He is mine now after all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank the stars our favorite stormtrooper thinks quick on his feet because Kylo's creepiness never ceases to amaze me.
> 
> Please leave a comment if this chapter creeped you out a bit, or if you otherwise enjoyed it.
> 
> If you wanna chat more about our favs you can follow me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kyloandfinnren)


	5. The First Rule of Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo wants to have a sleepover. 87 sets some ground rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long from my last update. There is one scene I already have written out that I am dying to post on here but I haven't done enough character development to really warrant it yet. So I kind of had a bit of writers block. I do have the next few chapters figured out so I can hopefully get us to the chapter I've been wanting to do since day one without too much delay. I probably should have made this a one shot, but I am enjoying this semi-long fic. I hope you all are too. 
> 
> This is unbetad so hopefully there aren't too many mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Stay”.

“I wouldn’t mind staying a bit longer, but I sure my Lieutenant will be looking for me soon”.

“The Lieutenant knows you are here, and to not expect you until your training tomorrow”.

“So….”, his voice trailed off not knowing what that meant. He wasn’t sure whether to be excited for the change to his boring routine, or worried that if something happened to him, no one would be looking for him until the next day.

Kylo rubbed his palms together, and he seemed a bit twitchy. “So, I planned ahead and had a pair of your night clothes brought over. Wouldn’t want to be a poor host and have you here with you clothes-“, he ended with a forced chuckle.

 When 87 starred at him with scandalized eyes he thought over his words and tried to back track. While he did that 87 quickly glanced around, and noticed his light grey regulation sleep wear on the table. He didn’t notice it when he first walked in, which wasn’t a surprise considering how cluttered the table was. Unlike the light grey clothing of a cadet, higher ranking officials had sleep wear that was solid black with the First Order emblem on the right sleeve.

“Well, I mean, you obviously shouldn’t be expected to sleep in your armor. That would be ridiculous. I mean you could wear some of my night clothes, but I’m a lot bigger than you and it would look like a dress on you-”.

“A dress”?

“Yes, a dress. I’ve seen women who wear what you might think is a long shirt, but it’s usually form fitting and it goes down to their knees, or sometimes barely covers their hips if they aren’t modest, and sometimes— “.

“I know what a dress is!  I have never seen one in person but they do teach us things you know”.

Twirling a few strands of hair around his index finger he replied in a deep but soft voice, “What else do they teach you”?

87 huffed, “I don’t know. Things we need to know, and things we may need to know. All we need to know is to shoot and do riot control, but sometimes we may have to do covert missions”.

Moving to sit on the edge of his bed Kylo looked up at the young boy and he looked curious. Cocking his head to one side he said, “What kind of missions”.

87 walked over to the bed close to Kylo, but he didn’t sit down. He got the feeling that Kylo planned for him to stay the night. He did not want to stay the night. For the first time in his life he wanted to seek the often annoying company of Slip, Zeros, and Nines.

He’s dreamt of the day when he would be important enough to no longer have to share a room with those three. He could never have imagined he would become important by being Kylo Ren’s ‘companion’.

He felt his heart start to race again. He wanted to get out of here, but he had to make sure not to make Kylo mad in the process. Which he’s noticed is nearly impossible to do.

“You look on edge. If you don’t want to tell me about the missions that’s fine. Why don’t you sit here so you can relax”, patting his hand down on the bed close to where he sat.

“I really should be getting back to my room”.

“I told you”, he replied curtly, “I already took care of it. You can have a break from being around those fools you bunk with for the night”.

“Thank. You”, 87 replied with each word feeling like a rathtar being forced through his mouth, “I really want to go back”.

“I don’t think you do. You are just trying to do what you’re told. I told you— “.

“I know what you said but— “.

He quickly stood up, and although he did not raise his voice, to 87 it felt like he did, “I don’t think you do, because what I _said_ was that I took care of it. That means end of discussion!”

“So are we supposed to be friends or is it my job now to keep you from feeling…. bored”? he challenged back.

“What?”

“Are we supposed to be friends…. or is it my job to keep you from feeling bored”? He wanted to use the word ‘alone’, but Kylo was already irritated enough as it was. “I do better in a situation where I know what is expected of me. You said you wanted us to be friends or companions or something, but when I try to tell you something you don’t seem to care”, Kylo tried to interrupt him again but 87 raised his hand to stop him, “so what is this then? I need to know so I know what’s going to happen to me, okay?”

For a few moments the only sounds were the deep breaths coming from the both of them. They stood there staring at each other, each one waiting to see who would break the tension first.

While waiting, 87 noticed that his breathing seemed to match with Kylo’s. As time continued to tick by he started to regret what he said. But before he could begin to change his mind the other started to speak.

“You are right, 87. If I order you around… then we won’t be companions the way I’ve hoped for. Honestly I have felt your fear of me quite often, and I know most people go along with what those of a higher rank ask of them out of fear. So I am very aware of the immense imbalance of power between us”, he eyes found everything in the room interesting except for 87, “I don’t know how to undo it. I outrank you and we both know it. I would like us to be as close to being friends as possible considering the situation”.

“So… that means you are not going to force me to stay here”?

Kylo looked like he was biting his tongue if the grimace on his face was any indication.

“No, if you want to return to your quarters I will escort you back”.

“That’s what I want”, he replied quickly.

“As you wish”, he said solemnly.

 

 

The pair put back on their helmets without a word, and 87 followed Kylo to his quarters. It was an awkward walk back as any. Neither of them spoke a single word, and any officers or troopers they passed gave them both a wide berth to avoid them.

When they reached his room Kylo turned around to face 87. Again the atmosphere in the air felt very charged. 87 was aware that if he walked in his room without saying anything that this thing with Kylo would probably not happen again.  He didn’t have enough time to know whether that was a good thing or not. He had to admit he really enjoyed watching the stars from Kylo’s viewport. It was also nice to have someone to talk too, even with all the creepiness, and Kylo didn’t seem too annoyed by all his questions or general excitement.

It was also quite awkward and uncomfortable at times too. Being sent to some officer’s room with no expectation of why he was needed, being grabbed and commanded to relax. Kylo Ren was a boy full of contradictions. He could be kind and he could be quite monstrous. Was it safer to stay as far away from someone like that, or to keep the monster close where you could keep your eyes on it?

87 didn’t think he was old enough to know the answer that question right now, what he did know was he was at least curious enough to continue on so he could answer that question.

He noted that he was able put Kylo Ren on edge, if this hands clenching and unclenching repeatedly were a clue. _I made the right hand of the Supreme Leader nervous. If I was able to do that… what kind of monster does that make me?_

Two questions now, were on the forefront of his mind. Although 87 was an exceptional boy he was still just a child, and that means he was immensely curious. So he decided to allow curiosity to get the last say over reason, and he would keep Kylo close until he could answer those two questions fully.

“Well uh… tonight was fun… and a little scary, but I can tell you don’t spend a lot of time with people so….”, Kylo still wouldn’t meet his eyes, and although he couldn’t see his eyes through the helmet, he could sense where Kylo was looking at for some reason. He also could tell Kylo was listening, “So uh… well during our training it is expected for us to fail certain missions when we first do them. The point isn’t to be successful the first time, but to learn and do better the next time. Do you understand?”

Kylo released the breath he was holding and looked straight on at 87 before nodding his head. “So umm… we are friends then?”

“Sure! Umm…. I noticed that time when you were watching me training. You were watching me then right?”

“Maybe”.

“Look, the first rule of being friends is you have to tell the truth to each other, okay?”

He sighed and replied, “Yes, I was curious about you so I watched you train”.

“Well I heard rumors that you do a lot of fighting yourself. Maybe, next time we could spar together, or you could watch me and give me some pointers”.

“Yes that sounds… that sounds good. I will figure out the best time, and then I will have Lieutenant Phasma send you to me”.

“Great! Well uh…”.87 decided he had enough excitement for one day so he quickly said goodbye to the force user and slipped into his shared quarters. Fortunately, the other three were fast asleep. He didn’t want to deal with their nosy questions, and he wanted to keep his friendship with Kylo Ren a secret for now.

Once he crawled in his bunk he replayed the events of the night over and over in his mind. It seemed so far-fetched that he nearly questioned whether it actually happened at all.

After some time of restlessness, he felt a light pressure in his head. His eyes all of a sudden felt heavy and he felt the overwhelming urge to sleep. As he drifted into a deep sleep he didn’t know that in the other side of the ship, his new found friend had also just fallen asleep.

Unlike most nights, Kylo’s sleep was uncommonly calm and restful… he didn’t toss and turn or mumble in his sleep. His chest rose evenly as he enjoyed pleasant dreams.

 Pressed close to his face, and held tightly in his arms, was a light grey shirt that was a gentle contrast to his pale skin and soft black sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love how brave and quick thinking our 87 is. I also like that just when you think Kylo is getting better at being a person he still does something a little out the box. 
> 
> Anyways let me know what you think, and if you have any ideas or wishes of where this story will go next I would love to hear that too. You can also chat with me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kyloandfinnren)


	6. Jealousy Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren feels jealous and shows 87 the extent of his feelings... pure chaos ensues. In reference to some of your recent comments, lets take a peak at Kylo Ren's so called 'progress' ;)
> 
> This chapter was inspired by Finn's fear in the episode 7 novelization about Kylo Ren killing him when they were on Jakku, and what Finn told Maz Kanata on Takodana when he said, "You don't know a thing about me. What I've done. What I've seen. You don't know the First Order like I do. We all need to run".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because I love you guys so much, and I was feeling uber inspired, I did an extra chapter today!!! I bet you weren't expecting another update for a couple of weeks huh. ; ) 
> 
> ***Trigger warnings: I hate to spoil what comes next but I don't want anyone to have any issues, so please look at ALL the new tags listed after 'control issues' before you read this. In fact, some of the initial tags also apply to this chapter which may be why it's much longer than usual. Things get pretty intense and very graphic in this chapter, even though it starts off very mellow, so please look after yourself and proceed with caution if these are your triggers***
> 
> This work is still unbeta'd.
> 
> If I haven't scared you away yet please enjoy.

_Was it all a dream?_

Waking up, 87 felt calm and more rested than he does on most nights. As he rubbed the junk from his eyes, he tried to put together his experience from the night before. It seemed like such a stretch that Kylo Ren would actually want to spend time with him, that he wondered again if he just made it all up. However, the fact that he did go somewhere the night before was verified when Nines started bugging him about where he went last night.

“Leave 2187 alone”.

“All I’m saying little Slippy, is he all of a sudden had to leave after he was told to go to the officers’ quarters. I just want to know what happened”

“Yeah, tell us what happened 2187, me and Nines are dying to know”.

Feeling annoyed by the mini interrogation, 87 ignored them and tried to walk around Zeros in order to put on his training clothes, but Zeros moved right in front of him. 87 again tried to step around him, but each time he tried Zeros moved right into his path.

“Will you get out of my way!”

“No. Not until you tell us where you went last night”.

“You are such an idiot. Have you thought that maybe I’m not supposed to tell? Do you want to know so badly that you have to be reconditioned when they find out I told you?” The room went quiet as the other three boys thought it over for a while. Of course 87 wasn’t told to keep quiet about his time spent with Kylo Ren, but these fools didn’t need to know that.

Nines decided to break the ice first, “Well, we didn’t know it was that big of a deal. We’re just messing with you, don’t get your regulation boxers in a twist”. Nines pushed some of his bright red hair out of his face, it was his tell when he was feeling nervous.

After giving Zeros a stern look, he moved out of 87’s way.

He put on their matching training gear which consisted of a dark red tank top that barely covered their stomachs, and matching bottoms that were tight around their calves and loose along their thighs. On the front right over their hearts was the First Order symbol. The symbol was meant to inspire thoughts of the ‘good ole days’ of the Galactic Empire, but 87 always thought they were all too young to really appreciate its significance.

 

 

Entering the cadet training room, 87 looked around to get a sense of what exercises they would work on today. Typically, if there were melee weapons lined against the wall they would spar those. Those were the days when there was an increase in training-related deaths. They fought with real weapons that were meant to either disable a person or kill them, so having about a dozen or so fatalities were not unexpected. Other days there were gloves and pads that covered the hands, forearms, and shins when they practiced kicks and punches. On the days were there was nothing but mats on the ground usually meant they would do grappling and other take down maneuvers that were useless to do in their armor, but was helpful during covert missions.

Today, it looked like they would focus on their grappling skills. Already in the room was Lieutenant Phasma and several Second Lieutenants and lower ranking warrant officers that often observed or assisted in the trainings.

“Looks like we have a special audience today,” Zero’s said as he scratched his scalp through his tight kinky hair. This caused many of the cadets nearby him to look in the direction of his gaze, and they saw they were indeed being watched. One level up through the transparesteel was Major Noran, Lord Kylo Ren, and a visiting officer who they recognized from holovids as Colonel Armitage Hux.

Everyone knew who Colonel Hux was. He was the son of a General from the Empire who was quickly moving up the ranks at the young age of 20. The colonel was also the second-highest ranking overseer of the Stormtrooper program; the only one who outranked him in that was his father.

87 wondered if Nines was from the same planet as the Colonel as they shared the same skin and hair color.

None of the cadets knew where they came from as it was deemed irrelevant to their training, so they were never told. Sometimes, before 87 would fall asleep he would think about what his parents might have looked like. He figured they must look somewhat like him. Smooth skin that looked like the color of soil, thick black hair, maybe somewhat on the shorter side but made for that in muscle bulk. He had given up hope that he would ever find out about his family, but it never stopped him from thinking about them and wondering if they were still alive, or if they were maybe still looking for him.

Returning his mind to the present, 87 noticed that Kylo Ren and the Colonel each stood on opposite sides of the Major. They also appeared to be a bit tense standing so close to each other. It made sense to 87 that they would see themselves as competition. Even though they had different purposes in the Order, they each were incredibly skilled at a young age and probably knew that there wasn’t much room to share power at the top of the hierarchy.

Catching Kylo Ren’s eye through Kylo’s helmet for a moment, 87 nodded in his direction and was greeted with a light nod in return. 87 knew he would have to be perfect today, not only was his new found friend watching, but so was the Colonel. In order to gain favor most of the cadets would likely fight dirty or more ferociously in order to show off their skills for Colonel Hux.

After having his assumption about the type of training verified by his Lieutenant, the cadets were split up into four large groups. The cadets would fight those in their own group until a sole victor immerged, and then the final four would fight each other until there was only one left.

As the fighting commenced 87 tried to block out the screams and crunching sound of broken bones as the cadets relentlessly tried to destroy each other. Each one either yelling out in victory or sobbing in defeat. As time progressed, the fighting got harder as they tried not to slip on the pools of red liquid on the ground.

Out the corner of his eye he occasionally saw a few of the warrant officers carry a limp body out of the training room. More screams and the loud thump of bodies hit the floor with a splash since the dead don’t know how to break their fall. The smell was sickening, but he knew he had to keep going.

The bodies being piled up or taken out of the room demonstrated proof of the willingness of young children to do just about anything to please their caretakers. 87 knew he was going to get through the training without causing some carnage of his own.

He was never able to find an explanation for it, but sometimes 87 felt like he could anticipate the moves of the person he was sparring with. The best way he understood it was feeling like hundreds of strings connected him to the other person. When the other person started to move in a certain direction that specific string would pull on the corresponding area of his body, and make also some sort of musical hum only he heard. It was a single note that would be harmonized when he met the movement with a matching one of his own.

At first he thought it was normal, until he tried describing the strings to Slip in order to improve his fighting ability. When Slip looked at him with a mixture of both amusement and confusion, 87 knew he was the only one who could feel or hear the strings. The strings were another thing that made him feel like an outsider, and sometimes he decided to ignore the urge to harmonize in an effort to be like everybody else.

It was during this time as 87 felt especially nervous with so many commanding officers watching him make victory after victory, that he decided to ignore his uncommon advantage so he would be knocked out of the competition.

All that ended up happening was instead of grabbing and holding his opponents arm which would have been harmonizing, he twisted during his hold which led to the feeling of resistance giving way and the sound of a loud snap. Then all he heard was more screaming in his ear, as the boy whose arm he held was bent at an impossible angle.

Before he was able to offer any help he was stopped by his Lieutenant who congratulated him on yet another victory.

Feeling on edge, he chanced a glance in the direction of the Colonel and noticed his head nodding in silent approval, as was the Major and Kylo Ren who as usual seemed to be focusing on him intensely.

 _It’s no big deal his arm will heal and everything will be alright. He’s going to be alright. He’s going to be alright._  He repeated that over and over like a mantra in order to still his racing heart. 87 hated hurting people. Even though he believed in the First Order’s goal of eliminating chaos, he wished he could do it without everhaving to hurting anyone.

Deciding that it was best for him to put his trust back in the strings he quickly defeated the rest of his opponents without causing any major damage. A few of the cadets that would end up being the second, third, and fourth ranked in this training exercise all huddled together and whispered amongst each other. 87 tried hard, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that he felt three pairs of eyes glaring in his direction. Hoping to distract himself he was rewarded by the sudden embrace of Slip.

 

 

While hugging Slip back, 87 focused on the excited voice of his bunkmate, “You did it 87, you were number one AGAIN. You’re incredible!” There it was again, in his eyes was that intense look of adoration Slip always had when he viewed 87 as his powerful prince. Slip was so close and wrapped up tightly in his arms that he could smell the regulation shampoo in his hair. Being used to this level of attention and knowing that Slip felt the safest in his arms he joked around and replied, “Well you know all I care about is impressing you Sl— “, he was interrupted by light tremor that swept through the room. Holding onto Sip tighter, he felt Slip bury his head into 87’s neck as the officers stood at greater attention.

The vibrations strengthened to the point where you could see waves of energy ripple through the blood on the ground. The lights flickered, resulting in a loud gasp from most of the kids in the room. 87 just held onto Slip tighter and started rubbing his back to keep him calm. The howl from the unknown force only seemed to get worse.

“What in the blazes is going on?! Prepare the ship to counter attack”. 87 could hear the Colonel yelling orders in the direction of the Major who just looked confused. Typically, he would have already been alerted if there was a danger approaching the ship.

Some of the cadets including Slip screamed as the overhead lights exploded and the shattered glass rained down on them.  Then came awkward groan of bending metal.

Red emergency lights flashed in a steady pattern and a siren blared out in time with the lights. It was the code for all officers to report to battle stations. 87 looked around and he along with nearly everyone in the room had a hard time standing as the floors continued to shake, and it was hard for any of them to stay upright. The sound of fists on metal and panicked voices as the officers realized they were trapped inside the training room.

 He saw Lieutenant Phasma head toward the exit and it seemed like the unsteady floor barely phased her through her metallic armor. She reached to her side and after taking aim, fired her blaster at the door several times until a hole was made large enough for her to barely squeeze through.

“What’s happening, 87?!” 87 could only distinguish Zero’s screams above the others as he was now standing right beside him. He looked around and realized that Nines was also standing beside him as well. Slip was still shielded in 87’s muscles arms. Against his chest he felt Slip’s heart beating like it was trying to force out of his chest and hid inside his own.

Shouting so they could hear him over the screams, he felt the beginning of panic rising through him, “I don’t know! I don’t— “Looking up he saw the only person who hadn’t moved or even responded to all the chaos in the training room, Kylo Ren.

The only thing that showed he was even aware of what was going on was the heaving of his shoulders and his legs spread wide in fighting stance. “It can’t be”, he cried out in disbelief.

 He didn’t think anyone could hear him as there were still cadets screaming and fighting each other to squeeze through the blaster created hole and run to safety. At the bottom of the pile were those who were trampled, stepped on after they fell during the stampede. They would never get back up again. The rest were pulling hair, scratching, and biting as they bled, as their instincts told them all they could do was run. It wouldn’t have done them any good, as the entire ship was under the same spell.

The weakest part of the maelstrom was not surprisingly around FN-2187. A few cadets must have taken notice and ran in his direction for safety. Just as 87 reached out one his arms to grab them they were gone; a white flash turned them into particles of red dust.

87 chocked in horror as thick bile filled his throat, and he fled to the sanctuary of his mind. Unfortunately, his mind did not provide a safe haven as he found himself returned to that dark night when he stepped on the bodies of his fallen comrades.

_No no no… please, please for the love of the Force. I can't let myself fall to the bottom!_

He released Slip, who he could no longer sense, but was still pressed closely to his body. He tightly pressed the sides of his head together with his hands to try and squeeze the painful memory he had slipped into from his mind. His heart was pounding, and he tried frantically to fill his lungs with air. Drowning in all of his fears he didn't notice the surge eject from his body as he cried out, “I said no!”

That’s when the vibrations all of a sudden stopped.

The surviving cadets froze as the tremors, the screams, and the sounds of broken metal were all silenced. The very room seemed frozen in time, with the only activity coming from the sirens and the emergency lights flashing from above them. The fear was palpable as everyone was afraid that one movement or peep out of them could start the calamity from starting all over again.

Still lost in his own mind, the door to the training room burst open, and 87's arm was grabbed before he was snatched out of Slip’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... apparently Kylo does not like to share, and poor 87 keeps being traumatized over and over again.
> 
> I had quite a creative experience writing this chapter. It started off as something that was going to have some fluff, and it just mutated into a whole lot of destruction. Then I revised it and it mutated even more. 
> 
> I figured it would make sense for Kylo to have less control over his emotions and powers than he did in ep 7, considering he's a raging hormone filled teenager right now. Also, did you guys catch the not so subtle hints about 87?! I'm still deciding how that's going to play out later on, but I do have a few ideas ; ) 
> 
> I know I ended on a cliff hanger and I apologize for that, but don't worry because the next chapter is already written and will be posted very soon. It was originally going to be one big chapter but it felt too long, so I broke it into two parts. Make sure you've bookmarked or subscribed to keep up with all the updates. I will be updating this fic more frequently than I did when this first started.
> 
> As usual you can find me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kyloandfinnren) if you wanna chat. I just recently posted a quick sketch of Kylo and Finn on my blog. If you check it out you will find out that I shouldn't quit my day job to become an artist anytime soon :P. Also, I've posted other Finn and Kylo fics that all have a different flavor, but they just might suit your fancy so check them out if you haven't already. I can't wait to hear what you all thought about the chapter!
> 
> Until next time.


	7. Jealousy Part 2/The Second Rule of Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friendship is tested and a bond is made permanent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I'm sure you all noticed this is the last chapter of this fic. Hopefully you also noticed that this will be the first part of a series and I hope you all are excited about that!!! This chapter continues just where the last one left off, and of course you don't have to do this but I do suggest you read the last chapter again right before reading this one because the intensity of chapter 6 adds to the desperation in this one. And if you have wondered how the title fits in with the story you will find out towards the end. 
> 
> **As for trigger warnings there isn't any blood or intense violence, but there are mentions of death and the controlling and possessive behavior does continue as well as 87 being dragged against his will.

As he was dragged through the Crusher, 87 cried out in fear.

He tried his best to fight back against the figure in black who seemed to be pulling him closer to the dark abyss. It was nearly impossible for him to see clearly with only flashing red lights illuminating the halls and the tears filling his eyes.

After shouting “No” for the hundredth time the shaking started all over again.

“How could you? You said you are mine. Mine alone!” The rage of the other one was met by 87’s sobbing and pleads to be rescued.

 “Stop fighting me”, he grunted, “This is all your fault anyway”. Not getting the reaction he wanted Kylo continued the trek to his quarters. “I said to stop!”

He wasn’t exactly sure where he was or what was happening to him. He kept being pulled in and out of the present reality and back into his gruesome past. He didn’t know which reality was more dreadful. All he knew was he wanted it to stop. Too lost in his own thoughts he didn’t notice that both he and Kylo were leaning to their right as the entire ship was being pushed off balance by an unseen force. The anti-gravity controls were failing, so 87 continued to be dragged, but with his body now floating off the ground as Kylo’s feet stayed firmly on the floor. Or, was that the viewport he was now stomping on.

87 thrashed and kicked his feet, trying in vain to run away from everything that scared him. No matter how hard he tried he could not escape this nightmare that had consumed him. The sound of control buttons and the swooshing sound of a door went completely unnoticed by him in this state. It wasn’t until he was pushed in front of a familiar viewport and pulled down to the floor did he finally stop struggling. The view being a pleasant balm that washed a subtle sense of safety through him.

Kylo reached his other arm out to him. Grabbing onto both his shoulders and shaking him gently. “Stop yelling will you. You’re going to freak yourself out. Look around, you just finished training and you’re in my room, FN-2187. Tell me, what you see”.

Hearing his designation was just the trick to fully jolt him out of his dreadful memories, and into the room he was currently in.

Feeling like a fish out of water, 87 tried blinking his eyes a few times as he focused on Kylo’s voice to help him stay present. He thought about Kylo’s question. What does he see?

Taking a few heaving breaths he looked at the area around him. “I’m in your room. I see you. I see your unmade bed and your messy desk”.

Kylo gave him an annoyed expressed, but by the glint in his eyes he did look pleased that his friend wasn’t so panicked. For a brief moment everything was calm and peaceful. The violent pulses that beat through the ship were reduced now a near-gentle vibration. 87 should have known that it wouldn’t last long.

Standing up, he looked around and could see the room was in more disarray than the last time he was here. The emergency lights were still on and he heard a voice start on the intercom informing the crew that the unexpected storm they passed through seems to have ended, but to stay alert at their posts. The announcer also mentioned that all hands are expected to check in with their commanding officer so the death toll could be counted.

At the mention of people dying, 87 felt a burst of new energy and purpose within him, and he jumped up and headed towards the exit.

“Where are you going?” The dirty accusation was fully evident in Kylo’s voice.

Stammering over his words with something close to guilt 87 replied back. “I have to get back. I have to make sure Slip is okay”.

Kylo tried to no avail to reassure 87 that Slip was alive, but 87 wanted to verify it for himself.

“Do you think I would lie to you? I thought we were friends. Why would I lie?”

87 ignored him as he just wanted to make his way back to Slip. “I don’t have time for this, Kylo”.

“Well you must think I’m lying since you don’t believe me”.

“I do believe you, but I want to see it for myself”.

“I don’t understand why. I’m telling you there is nothing wrong with him or the other three you room with. I want you to stay here… with me”. The “please” on his lips went unspoken.

“Kylo, please I don’t have time to deal with this. You nearly destroyed the ship and who knows how many people are dead because of you”.

Looking away Kylo began to feel guilt and dread fill his heart. This wasn’t the first time he’s lost control of his powers, nor was it the first time people have died because of him. It was a large part of why he decided to join the Supreme Leader who promised him strength and control like no one else had. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen”.

“Being sorry isn’t good enough. You can’t just go around destroying everything in your way for no reason”.

Kylo wanted to explain just why he lost control this time, but he was scared into silence. 87 was furious at him, and he knew the fury was well deserved, but he feared that 87 would completely reject him if he said the reason why. What he did say thought instead was, “Don’t go”.

“I have to get back Slip. He needs me”.

There was no way he could have known, but 87 shouldn’t have said that.

 

 

Kylo’s expression morphed into one of intense jealousy and all Kylo could see was red.

“Do I mean nothing to you? That must be it. Why else would you let him touch you like that,” the accusations flowed freely from his mouth like venom, “I should kill him you know. That way he’ll never be able to put his filthy little hands on you again.”

Shaking his head 87 tried to clear his mind and think about why Kylo was so upset, again. It was too hard to figure out, all the fear from earlier still clouded his mind and he couldn’t focus.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kylo. Nobody touched me. Now could you please let me go?”

“This is all your fault. This is all your fucking fault! Now the Supreme Leader is going to know”.

“Going to know what?”

“He’s going to know, and he’s going to get rid of me”.

“What? Why? What are you talking about Kylo?”

“This is all your fault. I trusted you, but you let him touch all over you”, his throat feeling raw from all the yelling. Back and forth throughout the room he started to pace, his wavy hair clumped together and stuck to the sweat on his forehead, “I chose you and you don’t even care about me. You do whatever it makes HIM happy but don’t do anything for me”.

_What is he going on and on about? He’s not making any sense. What’s my fault? And who does he think touched me._

87 looked around the room desperately for answers but room gave away no clues.

Before he knew it, the table was thrown across the room by invisible hands. The force leaving a large indent in the wall.

Since the viewport was still open, 87 could clearly see the rage on Kylo’s face. 87 hadn’t noticed before, but he must have taken off his black helmet at some point because 87 was face to face with a snarl of Kylo’s mouth.

Experiencing what he felt must be his impending death, 87 sobbed in confusion, “What did I do? Why are you so angry with me?”

Cocking his head to the side Kylo snorted in disbelief, “You may be young, but don’t play dumb with me”.

“You’re mad… about something I did….” 87 was nervous and as he tried to continue on his voice sounded higher pitched and more rushed. “Kylo, all I do is follow my orders and – “.

“Follow orders? Follow orders, huh. I didn’t realize playing the Knight to some pitiful prince was a part of your orders”.

“What are you talking about?!”

Knowing that they would continue to talk in circles until he was willing to open up, Kylo knew he had to show 87 the pain he felt in his heart. “That cadet. Your… bunkmate. He ran right into your arms, and you just swept him up without a care”, baring his teeth he continued, “I know, you know, how he feels about you. I can sense it. How could you choose him when you said you were mine?”

Feeling braver in the face of this madness he commanded, “Will you stop yelling at me! I said I was your friend not… ‘yours’. There’s a difference”.

Afraid to keep going, but feeling even more so at the thought of stopping, Kylo continued to lay his soul bare at 87’s feet. “You let that boy, Slip, crawl into your arms without a second thought. He felt calm and safe being so close to you, and you indulged him. I wanted you to stay last night and you… and you rejected me”, his voice started to crack as his lower lip trembled.

“You’re still not making much sense, Kylo. I didn’t reject you. I just wanted to sleep in my own bed. I don’t see-- ”

“Is it that hard to figure out?”

“Figure out what, Kylo?” The fog over his rational thought started to clear the longer time passed without him dying. His fear was being to mold into exasperation. Try as he might but he still couldn’t figure out what point Kylo was trying to make. “Just slow down and talk to me”.

Thinking for a few moments of what’s worked to quell Kylo’s anger in the past, he sought out a way for him and Kylo to get on the same page, or in the same book at least.

He took a deep breath before continuing, praying that he had Kylo somewhat figured out, “The second rule of being friends is you have to talk it out if you’re mad at each other. I’m trying to understand you, but it’s hard when I’m scared you’re going to hurt me or someone else”.

“I’d never hurt you 87. I swear”, he emphasized this point by moving his hands that clung tightly around 87’s biceps to his cheeks, and he tried to rub his thumbs against them affectionately. “Okay okay, calm down. Calm down okay?”

“I’m calming down. Are you okay?”

Focusing on the contrast in color between his thumbs and 87’s skin he sought out the Force’s assistance. His former Master was wrong about many things, but the one truth he did share was that the Force would help him if he reached out to it. “Yes. I’m sorry. I- When you were holding onto your Slip it made me feel like you didn’t like me anymore. Like you didn’t want me anymore”, his head hung down as he finished his words. 87 noticed the rubbing had stopped as his cheeks were held firmly and just short of painfully.

“Look. First of all, he’s not ‘my’ Slip”, he corrected, “Yes, I know he likes me as more than a friend, but I don’t feel the same way about him okay? But he is still my responsibility just like Nines and Zeros so I look out for him. Also, I don’t want to go into explaining why but I do care about him, so I’m not going to turn him away when he needs me”.

Kylo responded with a frustrated groan. “So you do see why I’m so upset then?”

When his question received no reply he sighed and tried another approach, “Fine, let me make it clear to you as you’ve asked. I wanted you to stay the night with me because I wanted to stay close to you, to feel safe in my dreams like I do when we’re together and I’m awake. I needed you just like he needed you, but you rejected me”.

_I’m not old enough to handle all of this._

Shifting his stance to get more comfortable, 87 examined Kylo’s words. It was a little difficult as the ship was still at the ready with the battle stations command, and although it was less severe the tremors did continue sporadically.  After he had what he thought was the issue figured out, he tried to think of the best way of responding without having Kylo’s rage push him out of the view port.

Looking over Kylo’s hunched over shoulder out at the dazzling stars he sought out inspiration to find the right words.

“Do you remember when you told me about the strange orbit of a singular planet and its star”, he started.

When he received no response he decided to keep going, “You told me that the power of the star pulled the planet along with it on its orbit throughout the galaxy. But because the star only had one planet around it, the planet and sun for some reason took turns spinning around the other. You said that the force that held the Sun and the planet in orbit together was immeasurable, and unlike stars who had many planets, their bond was impossible to break. He paused for a moment before continuing, “I think you also said that sometimes a meteor or a moon would sometimes orbit the planet, because the planet is powerful in its own right. But no matter what, the force that connects the meteor or the moon to this planet could never rival the force that connects the star and the planet. After some time, a meteor may fall into the planet’s atmosphere, or the moon could be pushed out into space, but the star and planet would always orbit each other until the end of time. Do you understand what I’m trying to say, Kylo?”

87’s explanation was met with Kylo finally looking up to meet his eyes. Without a word, Kylo took a step back and then pulled 87 deeply into his arms. Realizing that Kylo must have understood the meaning behind his word, 87 returned the warm hug. In his mind, 87 heard an unexpected and remorseful voice in his mind. _I’m so sorry. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I am sorry._

There they stood for some time, until Kylo’s body melted into him and the tremors finally stopped for good. Taking 87’s hand, the now calm older boy moved them both closer to the view port.

87 was now at a loss for words. He was still overwhelmed by so many emotions: fear, anger, relief, and happiness; and each one struggled for control. The last feeling was the most confusing one. In no way did he enjoy Kylo’s outburst of jealousy, but for the first time in his life he felt needed in a way he never had before.

He was used to having his wit needed to defend Slip, and his improving skills as a fighter needed by Lieutenant Phasma, the Major, and maybe even Colonel Hux himself. He had always been needed for his strength. But Kylo’s need for him was something else entirely.

Mainly because Kylo clearly had enough power to do whatever he damn well pleased, but still, this person with untold power wanted…him. Needed him by his side so he didn’t feel lost in the pain of loneliness. 87 was all too familiar with that feeling. It was something he felt every day, until just yesterday. Even when he would be surrounded in the familiar sea of white armor, he always felt like he is a million light years from all of them.

He wanted it to stop. The achy pain in his heart that would release a silent cry when he laid in his bed. The nightmares that conquered his dreams.

Kylo Ren was not the friend he ever imagined he would choose for himself, but chose him he did.

As much as he hoped things would stay calm as it is now his new friend was volatile. Outbursts like this were bound to happen again, but he didn’t know when. One thing he did know was that the pain was gone. Even through all the inescapable fear, he felt safe knowing that even if Kylo did in fact kill him someday at least he wasn’t alone.

87 did not know if the path he now had chosen was the best one to take, but his decision was made, and it was not one that was made lightly. Kylo was already so far ahead of him that he knew he would need to train three times as hard to catch up, but it would be worth it. It would be worth knowing that his friend was proud of him. He will stay beside Kylo through all the joy and the pain that was bound to happen when you walk beside a Knight of Ren. Kylo was his friend, and he always would be, forever.

 

 

Kylo looked over at the young boy who looked like he had decided on something. He knew he had to be better than this.

He couldn’t make excuses for his reckless behavior anymore if he wanted to stay with 87. His new friend meant the galaxy to him and he was learning, albeit the hard way, what it means for him to be a friend. He didn’t just want to be a good friend to the person who had decided to choose him, he had to be a great one. He had to be better so he could be worthy of this gift of friendship. Kylo had allowed himself to be neglectful of his own self-training, and causing so much pain in only friend was the motivation he needed to rededicate himself. After all, how could protect his dearest companion if he didn’t have any control over himself.

Kylo knew that he could not stop his feelings of jealousy and possession, but he would gain greater control of his actions and his powers. Because of this, Kylo knew he wouldn’t kill Slip as he so desperately wanted. Instead, he would do his best to support his new friend so he would become the greatest Stormtrooper that ever lived. That is, until the sleeping power within him awoke, and they would become connected in more ways than they ever could now.

It was also clear to Kylo that since he had laxed on his training he has allowed the Colonel, Armitage Hux, to slip closer into the Supreme Leader's favor. Even as the favored right hand of his Master, Hux was slowly becoming the favored left. Knowing the ways of the First Order, there would only be one person allowed to rule under the watchful eye of Snoke. There was only one crown, and he felt sick knowing that due to his pride in his raw talent he had barely noticed that another was close enough to actually get a firm grip on it. His only choice was to get stronger, and then he would take back the crown without mercy with his chosen one by his side.

With his goals for their future in mind he felt reassured that they would one day rule the entire galaxy together. He refused to share his power with anyone else, but he would share it with 87, because they were one now. Holding the vision deep in his heart he would let nothing stand in their way.

Both boys were deep in thought as they sat together without speaking. At some point in the night they moved together until they were leaning their backs against the bed. A toned shoulder leaned over to touch a slightly less broad one. The only movement between them was the gentle hand that firmed rubbed the tension from 87’s back. Even as the aftermath of the chaos reverberated through the ship, as the fires were extinguished, and as the bodies were being counted, none of that despair could reach the pair.

In this room, this sanctuary, it was just the two of them with a wide view of the heavens before them. Tilting their exhausted bodies to rest their heads on top of each other; there they sat until they both drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.... for now. 
> 
> I already have a lot of ideas of how I want 87 and Kylo's journey to continue, but I will likely be taking a break from this series because things are getting a bit hectic at work and I have some other fics I've neglected. If you're interested in what comes next be sure to bookmark or subscribe to the series. 
> 
> Thank you so much for hanging in there with me! I couldn't have done it without all your support and encouraging words. If you have time come chat with me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kyloandfinnren)   
> Until next time :)


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